HAIREHNFGAIO4JA'[GNB;AKNWEIhtbiahEIOAHOIRJKDMGRIYSS';HGL #[PTSK,ROJSJS[PRITGKDLJGIURO4JTGP'GKSPHKBJROISHTIHN!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111!1

That is all.

This is really just upset and hate and rage so feel free to skip this in favour of the picture of Karl Urban.

I hate doctors, I really do. Well, I hate the ones I have to deal with, the ones at my local health centre. Bastards.

The other week I finally gathered up the courage to do something about my depression/whatever it is problem and I came out of that appointment just feeling so small.

I basically told him that this is something I've been dealing with for a long time, years, but lately it's been more intense - the highs have been higher, the lows have been lower and longer. How much mental illness runs in the family. How I've messed up so many things because I just couldn't find the energy for anything. How I ended up dropping out of college and did nothing for like months. I went into a lot more detail about how I've been feeling and how it's affected everything and I feel like I bared my soul. And I just felt so awkward the whole time and it just took so much for me to open my mouth and just ask for help.

He asked me some questions about hobbies and jobs and school and stuff and was all condescendingly judgmental about my answers.

Then he said 'Well, obviously, life hasn't gone quite the way you expected. You're in a bit of a slump right now and it's got you a bit down.' Told me to go get some more Highers, maybe; gave me a booklet on how to deal with stress and ushered me out. Somewhere in the middle he also mentioned that clinical depression doesn't exist.

I have never felt so belittled in my life. It felt very much like being judged and found wanting.

It's not something I want to go through again.

Usually when it something like that happens I'm all right, I'm somewhat thick-skinned. But not when it comes to this. I already feel a little like perhaps this is how everyone feels and I just can't deal and it was like this guy was just saying 'that's exactly it! get over yourself, already'.

But, anyway, it's all right 'cause 1) I've been feeling a bit better lately and B) I went to my brother (which is probably what I should have done in the first place) and he and his fiancee are taking me to the doctors they go to, who they like and trust, and are going to make sure it works out better this time.

tl;dr some doctors are asshats.

And, now, to cheer myself up and just 'cause;

I knew going in, I knew it. Rusty would make us all cry just because he knows he can! And I still decided to watch Torchwood anyway.

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, RTD, WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK?!?!

And even if it's fixed tomorrow, which it better well be - I will not be responsible for my actions if it's not, seriously - there was still no god damn need for it. It was bloody uncalled for. I was stretched past my limits by the end of the last season, I WANT NO MORE!

God, they didn't pull their punches tonight. At all. With anything.

That was some good telly, though, right there.

Ok, so the cinema at the Ocean Terminal Shopping Centre is still showing the film for at least the next week. And that's apparently a ten minute car or bus journey from Waverly Station. That's where I'll be coming in from.

There's also the Omni Centre, which is a five minute walk from waverly station, but that's only got showing for the next three days.

This would probably be easier if I knew my way around Edinburgh... So if I'm wrong please do tell.

When would be the best time/day for you to meet?

ETA: Okay, looks like there's at least four of us. Saturday seems to be a good day for all.

So shall we go to the 5.50pm showing at the Omni on Saturday? Do you wanna meet earlier for food or get dinner after the film, or something? Wreak some havoc on an unsuspecting Edinburgh?

ETA2: We're meeting at 3.30 pm by the giraffe statues outside the Omni Centre (just inside if we're getting drookit) to get food and tickets for the 5.50 showing.


THIS MAKES ME SO HAPPY!

Currently my sleep is all frakked up. I can't get to sleep until I'm literally on the point of exhaustion and even then, after being awake for upwards of 30 hours I'll only get five hours of sleep! Thank God it's summer and no one expects me to be lucid. Not that anyone expects me to be lucid at any other times. I don't think it helps that I'm melting.

In a similar vein of thought, when I do get sleep I've been having some pretty cool dreams. Zachary Quinto seems to be starring in a lot of them as my BFF. I can't count how many dreams I've had where we're just hanging out doing nothing. And then there was the one where I was playing ping pong against ZQ and Captain Fine with De Kelley as my partner. So I have two questions about these GQMF filled dreams:

1) Why aren't any of them x-rated?

2) WHERE THE HELL IS KARL URBAN?!?!?!

My friend thinks that my brain won't let me sleep because I am in fact not dreaming about him and so has decided that daydreaming is the way to go.

Karl? It is crucial for my mental and physical well being that you visit me in my dreams!


Also, thank you so very much for Micjob '09.

( Okay, I should say something about Asylum other than goddamn organisational FAIL and MISHAMISHAMISHA!  )

( The cows are loose )
I was going to say something else but I don't remember anymore so I'mma just going to add a picture a Karl Urban, seeing as he is to blame for a lot.

HIS EYES! HIS EYES! OMG, HIS EYES! *dies in drooling mess*

That's a perfectly good reason to post this picture.

 

*bouncebouncebounce*

Driving down to Birmingham for Asylum in the morning. This is going to be my first Supernatural con and, God, it's been far, FAR too long since my last real convention. I'm so excited!

I'm going to meet Jensen, Jared and Misha!!!

I'm going to be such a mess!

My only worry is that I'm possibly going to be without the internet for FIVE WHOLE DAYS!!! I can't even bear to think of what I'll miss over at ontd_startrek. It makes me cry.

BUT JENSEN, JARED AND MISHA!!!

Dinner was scrapped because it tasted "weird", apparently. I shall now starve.




This makes it better.

Did indeed see Star Trek again. It just gets more and more awesome. Must see it again.

Night at the Museum 2 was utterly hilarious. I was surprised at how much I enjoyed it. There were some WTF LOL moments but many, many more bellyaching, rolling in the stands laughs.

( It's quite quotable )

I might have to get this on DVD.

Of course it was nowhere near as good as Star Trek, but that's just a given, isn't it?


On the way home I had to switch buses because the first bus driver was drunk off his ass. He smelled like a brewery, was shaking to and fro on the road and almost mowed down a taxi. I'm not that fond of journey's where I'm uncertain if I'll make it home alive. Idiot.



I believe that it has become essential to my well-being that every post contains something Karl related.

I NEED TO GET SOME SLEEP, OMG!!!

However, I am instead going to the cinema to see Night at the Museum 2 and if I'm wery, wery lucky STAR TREK, AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN!

I am worried about what I will miss on </a></b></a>

It has taken over my life! I'm not sure it's a good thing that I'm happy about it.



THIS MAKES ME HAPPY! I APPROVE KARL URBAN, I APPROVE!

Okay, so there are certain perks to insomnia. I got to watch Supernatural like twelve hours early!

( Oh Dean, I really just need to hug you )

( The surprise and what a surprise! )


OKay, I now have to go to college with absolutely no sleep whatsoever. This is gonna be just delightful.

You know I do actually need to get some sleep.

Can we stop with the thinking and have some unconscious time?

y/y?

I need to find a dark corner, hide away and die from explosion of the head. I've heard it's a real nice way to go...

Before I pass on I just need to say this:

SUPERNATURAL, HOW FREAKING AWESOME ARE YOU?!

YOU, SHOW, ARE TEH BEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11!!!!!!!!!ELEVEN!!!!!!!!!

"I HAVE BEEN REHYMENATED."

BWAHAHAHAHAHA... HA HA HA... heehee.

That is all.

Head 'splodes.

ouch

OMG!OMG!OMG!OMG!OMG!OMG!OMG!OMG!OMG!

I do not remember the last time a show made me this flaily with excitement!

Three episodes in and this is possibly the set up for what could be THE BEST SEASON YET!

After season three (which I still loved, I did, it just wasn't the Supernatural awesomeness that I was expecting) I didn't know if I should be ready to be blown away. Boy, was I wrong. From the moment I started watching the premiere I was enthralled and just when I didn't think it could get any better...


( Boy, was I even more wrong! )


Supernatural totally owns my soul

Title: For the Love of a Child
Author: ancient_shadow
Fandom: NCIS
Rating: PG-13
Character(s): Tony, Gibbs, Abby, et al
Summary: Tony finds himself growing attached to the team's only witness to a horrific murder.
Disclaimer: Does not belong to me at all, only borrowing.

 
--- ( She looked fragile, like glass finely cracked; prod too hard and she would break into a million jagged pieces. )